I woke up this morning very heavy-hearted. My daughter walked into my bedroom to wish me a good morning but was just in time to be the lucky audience for a soliloquy on the dire condition of mankind. Poor thing! She, politely, endured my outbursts and at the end actually helped me to feel better. She provided words of encouragement with an outlook on life that in no way equals her few short years on this planet.
I woke up with boxing gloves on really looking for a fight with God. Terrible thoughts of Haiti occupied my mind. Once again, injustice, riots, hunger, insecurity, shame and instability are words being used on the international stage to describe my homeland. I woke up angry, heartbroken. And I could not get out of my mind the beautiful children I visited at an orphanage, in Pernier, this past April. I thought of Pastor Wilson, Guychard, OFRYH in Petit-Goave and countless others who are working hard and with limited resources just to help a few folks eat and sleep better, one day at a time.
Of course if you look for things to complain about you find plenty and each one introduces you to another. So I started questioning God about the lady who suffered a stroke last week one day after being in complete service to Him, one day after ministering and letting others know about His power and His greatness. What’s up with that? And what about the brother who does nothing but speak for Him and go for Him and yet is facing terrible personal and financial difficulties? While we’re at it, what gives concerning sick children and corrupt leaders and governments that do nothing but prosper? And why can’t I ever have enough to feed and send poor handicapped children to school or help a battered, helpless woman find her way while everywhere, people who are blind to the plight of humanity’s most afflicted are being blessed with enough to put a million dollar collar on the neck of a dog? I WANTED TO SCREAM!!!
But then…I began to remember. Moses, Jesus, Abraham, Paul, Jeremiah and so many others in the Bible faced similar issues. They never really got all of their questions answered during their trying moments. They struggled at times to understand God’s plans. Even Jesus uttered: “ Father, why have you forsaken me?” John the Baptist, who was divinely chosen to pave the way for Jesus Himself, struggled while in prison and questioned his entire belief system: “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?”
I spent some time in deep meditation and prayer and thanked God for helping me realize the Gospel we preach has never been nor will it ever be about our own personal comfort (mental, physical or otherwise). Whether we are working in church or in our own personal ministries; whether we feel betrayed by the world or struggle to understand humanity as a whole, we should know our comfort is not God’s priority in every circumstance of life. Like competent, trained soldiers, we are to go and endure and pray and fight whether we feel comfortable or not—whether we feel happy or not.
Having learned my lesson today, I continue to pray for my country, starving children, oppressed people all over the world and all the ills of society that constantly break our hearts.